December 2011
7 posts
2 tags
Today's Checklist.
Manicure? Check.
Pedicure? Check.
Eyebrows plucked? Check.
Brazilian wax? Check.
Already messed up my nail polish? Inevitable.
Feeling so done up it’s ridiculous. And all for Dave and Jess’s wedding, in the hopes of getting laid.
9:45 am ON A SATURDAY
Literally had no idea how to respond when my future father-in-law started a FB chat with me this morning. My initial instinct was to just sign off. Instead we talked awkwardly about next weekend’s wedding. The whole time I sat here by myself saying out loud “THIS IS SO WEIRD THIS IS SO AWKWARD.”
So hey, good morning.
Like a mama bird feeding a baby bird.
Literally laughed out loud at the extended clip from TLC’s Virgin Diaries where the bride’s dad says he’d “like to be a fly on that wall to see how awkward this is going to be for them because they haven’t been intimate at all.” Just based on how you kiss, EVERYONE at that wedding knew it would be a super-schmawkward night of consummation. As her sister said,...
Friday nights.
When you come home, drink too much wine, then try to shave your legs in the shower unsuccessfully.
What, just me?
